I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize