Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
