I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
