From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
