You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
