My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4