It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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