i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?