I hate all girls vehemently.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.