Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
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as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
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I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.