He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She tied me up with her honor cords...
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Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
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All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.