I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just had sex on a roof
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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