Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
