yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
