how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
