i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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