I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
