if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
