Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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