So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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