i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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