my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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