everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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