just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
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Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
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After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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