I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
