I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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