I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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