Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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