The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
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BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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