Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just cropdusted the office
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize