my sisters under your porch take her home
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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