Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize