We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
