I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
