i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
