So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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