She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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