Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
