I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
