i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
