I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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