Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You are the jesus of drinking
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
