Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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