i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
