I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize