You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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