i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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