All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
accomplished twins. life is a go
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
