if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
