Swine flu is the new snow day.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
