He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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