Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just invented taco cereal.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
