Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
