He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You've changed since you got that strap on
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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