Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
