please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
