oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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