What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
