My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
