It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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