Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
