i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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