i just google imaged poop.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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