Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
