hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
