i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
