My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
