well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
