Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Someone signed my nipple.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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