I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
