you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
