My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
