Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
