So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Come share oat with me in your robe
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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