I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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