i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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