I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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