You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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