Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Randomize
